You Cannot Be Serious, # 75

From Dr Faustus:

Source: Just Like Us

homophic

You Cannot Be Serious, # 74

This fairly short piece of text is marked by confusion, due to a failure to proofread before posting — or since: the mangle, submitted by Dr Faustus a month ago was still in place as of this morning — and an absence of any of the hyphens required by the rules of grammar and for the sake of clarity, as well as inconsistency in the positioning of the registered trademark symbol:

Link: Vitae, ‘Vitae Three Minute Thesis competition’

by the until the end of June; Three Minute Thesis competition; Vitae hosted

You Cannot Be Serious, # 72

These come via Gary Hazell. The top screenshot is taken of the company’s website (where one of the many mangles has now been corrected), and the other from its Facebook page. A cynic might say the copy had been rushed out to take advantage of circumstances:

Link: PhilosophyFootball.com, ‘Muhammad Ali’

Link: Facebook, PhilosophyFootball, 4 June, 2016, 10:42

WE REMEMBER £5 FROM EACH SHIRT, solidatirty, dinated, suppoters, anti-war, pro Civil Rights; persoinal

You Cannot Be Serious, # 70

While we’re on the topic of dental care, here is a puzzling choice of adjective — twice:

therapeutic taste

You Cannot Be Serious, # 69

The caption-writer either doesn’t understand the term ‘clockwise’ or needs to learn to check details before posting… This was spotted by Dr Faustus, who explains: ‘If the photos were correctly read clockwise from top left, the bottom two pictures should be swapped over. Result: unintentionally hilarious image of the Mad Hatter as a new X-Man’ — so crossed streams after all?

Link: The Guardian, ‘Scorchers: The Hottest Films of Summer 2016’

misordered caption – X-Men/Alice crossover]

You Cannot Be Serious, # 68

It was going so well, but then the writer chose an adjectival construction instead of negating the verb, and it all went horribly wrong…

Source: Times Higher Education, 2253 (5—11May, 2016), p. 4

drones can carry only a small payload, let alone […]

You Cannot Be Serious, # 67

This Telegraph report was scrapped and its address now redirects visitors to a page about bookies’ odds for bets on the weather for Easter 2016, although echoes of the original text still remain online. At the time this snapshot was taken, however, it seemed that the writer was already on vacation:

haolidaymakers

You Cannot Be Serious, # 66

This writer seems to be mixing up very different literary personae:

Link: Cosmopolitan, ‘26 things you didn’t know about Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’

hyde for hide

You Cannot Be Serious, # 65

It would seem, and it is confirmed by the webpage’s address, that the writer of this breadcrumb (the first screenshot below) decided that the writer of the headline (the second screenshot) had used the wrong preposition and so changed it, mangling the meaning in a rather hilarious manner. (Neither spells the playwright’s first name with a diaeresis, as he always did.)

Link: The Telegraph, ‘What It’s Like to Live with Noel [sic] Coward’s Garden’

What it’s Like to Live in Noel Coward’s Garden

You Cannot Be Serious, # 64

The Telegraph hedging its spelling bets again:

Link: The Telegraph, ‘Holiday Money: The Ultimate Guide to Buying’

bureaus; bureaux

You Cannot Be Serious, # 63

Dr Faustus thinks this may be less money than it looks:

Link: BBC News, NI’s top lawyer to join “gay cake” case’

£500 pounds

You Cannot Be Serious, # 62

Des Pond of Slough has submitted this recent breadcrumb from The Telegraph’s homepage, asking: ‘If you lose a loss, isn’t that a gain?’

lost 22pc loss

You Cannot Be Serious, # 61

A hideous grammatical lapse on a page nonsensically headed ‘Security on Eurostar?’:

Link: Eurostar.com, ‘Security on Eurostar?’

We […] recommend that all valuables and important documentation is kept

You Cannot Be Serious, # 60

There are presently several versions of this meme, which appears on car-window decals and in other formats in addition to the ubiquitous online graphics. Most seem to contain this hideous mangle:

Link: Facebook, Janoskians

miss spell

You Cannot Be Serious, # 59

This product, with its tautologous description, spent much of this year in the remaindered display at the Rugby branch of Lidl:

decorative ornament

You Cannot Be Serious, # 58

Not the best word to misspell, nor the best place to misspell it:

proffessional [+ punctuation]

You Cannot Be Serious, # 57

This political poster is currently doing the rounds on social media. In addition to the typographical mangle and the odd temporal description, the group’s identifying acronym and logo are omitted:

 

airstikes; ‘just several days’ [+ missing identifying logo/acronym]

You Cannot Be Serious, # 56

This advertisement from the Rugby Observer, 24 June 2014, shows some interesting career options:

Apprenticeships [… Business Administration Customer Service […] Sports Coaching Warehousing & Nail Services

You Cannot Be Serious, # 55

Confusing labelling at the Rugby branch of Sainsbury’s earlier this year — and this is in addition to the fact that the name of the product on the label should be capitalized:

raspberries labelled jersey potatoes

You Cannot Be Serious, # 54

Another via John Holloway, from North Walls. The sign might have benefited from more punctuation and less random capitalization, but it’s the bottom line that is particularly mangled:

you for your