Not Washed or Cooked, # 301

‘Chris is risen’ reads a sign made for Acomb Parish Church (reported by the BBC). Meanwhile…

Link: Valley News, 14: 17 (25 April–1 May, 2014), p. 5

Esater

Multimangle, # 46

The first of a short series of seasonal mangles. Today’s come from a blog that seems to have been created quite recently. The author is not identified.

Link: Happy Easter Bunnies Chocolate Rabbit Photos & Pictures 2016,
‘Happy Easter Sunday Activities For Children’s 2016’

Celebrations on the holy week; Munday Thursday; last super; So friends we hope that you have done all the latest all the latest collection for you. faces on near and dear ones

Multimangle, # 37

Saluting the Scots poet for a second day with some more unfortunate spellings, although this time the apostrophe mangles are avoided as Burns is not mentioned :

Link: The Old Hand & Diamond Inn, Coedway

hagis, whiskey

Multimangle, # 36

In a short seasonal interlude, today’s and tomorrow’s mangles relate to the annual commemoration of the Scottish poet Robert Burns, a commemoration irregularly marked with an apostrophe. Here is an announcement for last year’s festivities from the Morgan Arms in London:

Link: Metropolitan Pub Company, Morgan Arms, Burns’ Night 2015

kneeps for neeps, e for and, & whisky’s as plural [plus Burns Night]

Not Washed or Cooked, # 281

Here is a pair of mangles on a seasonal theme. The first can be found on the website of Cotswold & Stuart, specialists in philately:

Link: Cotswold & Stuart, ‘Royal Mail Christmas Panomime Minisheet FDC’

This one (with unavoidably small text — click it to enlarge a little) comes from the press:

Link: Donegal Daily, ‘Dwarfs group’

pantoime; panomime

Spellchecking Is Never Enough, # 210

This meme, complete with homophonous mangle and random capitalization, is presently doing the rounds on Facebook, and seems an appropriate way for Mangling English to celebrate the season:

too for to; random capitalization

Not Washed or Cooked, # 259

Despite the correct spelling on the adjacent poster, the key word is misspelt not once but twice, and differently each time!

Link: Silver Blades Ice Rinks, Solihull, ‘Our Events’

Hallloween; Hallween

Not Washed or Cooked, # 204

Contributor pleaseproofread has spotted a mangle in a student union press release:

Link: Warwick for Free Education, ‘Press Release: Warwick Students’ Union Votes No Confidence in VC Sir Nigel Thrift’

Febuary

Apostrophe catastrophe, # 70

Mo Juste contacted me a while ago to say he’d seen a mangle in a poster advertising a particular event, but hadn’t been in a position to take a photograph. I was fairly sure that I’d be able to find the error replicated somewhere; and, in the event, deciding which of the very many examples to use was the difficult part. So, in commemoration of the famous Scots poet, and based on an idea by Mo Juste, here are some apostrophe catastrophes:

Link: TalentScotland, ‘Burn’s Night celebrations’

Link: Bedford School, ‘Burn’s Night’

Burn’s Night; Burns Night

Not Washed or Cooked, # 194

Another seasonal mangle (now corrected):

Link: Heronswood Primary School, Kidderminster, Events Calendar, ‘Cinderella Panomime [sic]’

Panomime

Not Washed or Cooked, # 192

Another seasonal mangle:

Link: Manchester Evening News, ‘Dry Boxng [sic] Day for some after water supply loss’

Boxng Day

Spellchecking Is Never Enough, # 158

Possibly spell-checked, but not proofread, and certainly not cross-checked with the album cover:

Link: CDBaby, The Press Gang, The Holy [sic] and the Ivy

The mangle is repeated in the track listing further down the same webpage:

Merry Christmas, mangle-spotters!

The Holy and the Ivy

Not Washed or Cooked, # 191

The last of the ‘Christams’ run today (but seasonal mangles will continue through the week), and, as promised, the last culprits are the most heinous… These are a few of the many examples out there.

Link: South Pasadena United Methodist Church, ‘Christams [sic] Eve Candlelight Service’

The icing on the cake is the juxtaposition of the mangle and the church’s motto.

Here’s another mangled service announcement:

Link: Shepherd of the Hills Church, Omaha, ‘Christams [sic] Eve Candlelight Service’ (pdf)

Finally, from a giftshop:

Link: Coventry Cathedral’s Online Shop, ‘Ceramic Christams [sic] Ball’

Christams [sic] balls all round, really!
Christams [selection]

Not Washed or Cooked, # 190

Today’s seasonal mangles demonstrate a heinous lack of care in the world of education, and cover all levels. The first, pre-school, ‘Christams’ example has brought several friends:

Link: Busy Bees, Manchester — Fallowfield,  ‘Decorate a Christams [sic] bauble’

In addition to the hideous apostrophe catastrophes and other mangles is the header’s odd-sounding ‘Established since 1983’, which should read ‘Established in 1983’ or simply ‘Established 1983’.

We now move on from nursery to primary school:

Link: Hodthorpe Primary School, Worksop,  ‘Christams [sic] Concerts’

Link: Bowerhill Primary School, Melksham, ‘Santa’s Christams [sic] Sparkle Disco’

Here‘s the heading of a secondary school’s seasonally-themed homework exercise, nicely mangled by a teacher:

Link: Tiverton High School, ‘A Christams [sic] Carol — images’

Finally, a mangle from a university whose close traditional links with the service in question should have given it much practice in spelling ‘Christmas’ (and also in capitalizing titles correctly):

Link: King’s College Cambridge, Choir Recordings, ‘Nine Lessons and Carols (2012)’

Christams [selection]

Not Washed or Cooked, # 189

Today brings examples from business and journalism. First, an event entry on a parking reservation website:

Link: ParkMe, ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas [sic] Parking’

The large-font mangle recurs in the heading of an article published in November 2012, whose error remains uncorrected:

Link: Express, ‘Christams [sic] cards from Prince Charles and Princess Diana up for auction’

Christams parking; Christams cards

Not Washed or Cooked, # 188

Today, some ‘Christams’ meals. Given how early restaurants plan and publish their seasonal menus, you'd think someone would have expunged these mangles by now:

Link: The Duke of Cumberland, Brampton, Cumbria, ‘Christams [sic] Party Menu’

Link: The Dog & Fox, Wimbledon, Longdon, ‘Christams [sic] Buffet Menu’ (pdf file)

Link: The Gatehouse Hotel, Ipswich, ‘Christams [sic] Fayre Lunch’

Christams meals

Not Washed or Cooked, # 187

Creativity is clearly important to this publication. Here, it’s practising creative spelling:

Link: Nubi Magazine, ‘Top 5 Hottest Christmas Party Dresses For 2014’

The mangle has now been corrected, but its memory remains in the page’s address as a reminder that old sins have long shadows on the internet: http://www.nubimagazine.com/top-5-hottest-christams-party-dresses-2014/.

Christams Party Dresses

Not Washed or Cooked, # 186

Mangle-eyed readers will have noticed that, ‘the festive season’ being upon us, the blog has already featured a couple of Christmas-based mangles, and for the next week or so will focus on the seasonal theme.

In 2012, we had fun with various manglings of Santa and Claus, while 2013 was mainly concerned with mangles in Christmas songs. (These are all available in the blog’s archive.) This year, there’s a single mangle, but presented in increasingly appalling settings.

Today‘s spelling mangle, from the website of the Mattapoisett Historical Society in Massachusetts, is supported by a failure-to-hyphenate —

Link: Mattapoisett Historical Society, Events, ‘Drop In Christams Craft’

— that makes it seem at first to be reporting on a reduction in those making items associated with the season.

Drop In Christams

Spellchecking Is Never Enough, # 157

A cover of that perennial Cliff Richard Christmas favourite…

Link: AllMusic.com, Various Artists, Just Like Cliff Richard.
Cf. VirginMedia, Just Like Cliff Richard,Various Artists

I shan‘t even begin to consider why anyone would feel the need to record and release a slew of tracks apparently in the style of (‘just like’) Cliff Richard when all the tracks can be easily obtained in a recording by someone you’ve heard of, i.e. the actual Cliff Richard.

‘Mistletoe and Wind’

Not Washed or Cooked, # 185

Dr Faustus sends this, commenting: ‘Spotted on the back of my Cadbury’s advent calendar…’

Oxford Dictionaries observes, under woolly, ‘US also wooly’, although Merriam Webster tucks this alternative far down the page under ‘Variants of WOOLLY: wool·ly also wooly or wool·ie’, which expresses its existence while supplying little authority for its usage as correct.

wooly