Other Englishes, # 5

This from Just Liam, who remarks: ‘I can’t comment on the translation, but come on! Get a native English-speaking person to proofread!’ Some of the errors here, such as the use of the conditional mood where the future tense is needed, are not uncommon among those taught English in Asia; others, such as the misused apostrophe, are not uncommon among those taught English in England… Some of the errors, however, are more puzzling:

The translation on the front label is not entirely satisfactory either:

thefinest; pour into boiling water on the proportion; would for will; it’s for its; poer for pour; ‘soup’!; served repeatedly for 3–5 times; avoid a long time infusion; Chinese Famous Tea

Multimangle, # 43

In amongst this bunch of mangles is one appropriate for St David’s Day:

Link: Chadwicks flowers, ‘English indoor dafodills’

dafodills; Chadwicks; Valentines Day; Mothers Day; foliages

Not Washed or Cooked, # 295

An oddity:

Link: The Telegraph, ‘Angry homeowner gets revenge on commuter who parked in her driveway’

driveaway for driveway

Not Washed or Cooked, # 227

From Dr Faustus comes this mangle taken from a report that is generally very badly constructed (the subheading and first paragraph are virtually identical, for instance), and which was obviously neither spell-checked nor proofread:

Link: The Telegraph, ‘Grooveshark shuts down following “very serious mistakes”’

failuring

Double-take, # 148

This comes from Just Liam:

He remarks: ‘Tell me if I’m wrong, but I don’t want to be sexuring any candles if I’m not supposed to be doing so.’ Indeed. I wonder if the ambiguous capitalized instruction is intended to work as a subliminal message…

sexure for secure

Not Washed or Cooked, # 219

From the menu at a recent conference at Warwick University (‘Warwick Conferences — Conference with Confidence’): 

creme Brulees with biscotti buiscuits; Galzed strawberry tartlets

Not Washed or Cooked, # 212

More swift action by Dr Faustus has preserved this hideous mangle:

Source: BBC News for smart devices, ‘M4 Cardiff crash […]

The online version is correct, but clearly wasn’t originally as a Google search shows that it escaped onto the Internet. (Many of these sources have also now been corrected.)

scene of ‘caranage’