Apostrophe catastrophe, # 95

From the backlog of Dr Faustus, a notice in the London-Bayswater branch of L. A. Fitness:

other members safety

The Wrong Word Entirely, # 71

I was invited to sign this petition some time ago:

Link: UK Government, e-petition, ‘Introduce mandatory noise complaint waivers […]’

The main mangle is innumerate for innumerable, which I’d not come upon before.

Note: the petition attained over 43,000 signatures. The government’s detailed response concludes that adequate legislation is in place to safeguard both venues and residents. The issue will be reconsidered should the number of petitioners reach 100,000.
innumerate for innumberable

Not Washed or Cooked, # 174

The spelling on this notice in the women’s ‘facilities’ at Coventry’s Canley Crematorium had not been checked before posting, and the punctuation would benefit from work too:

recepion + punctuation

Not Washed or Cooked, # 171

Spotted at Andover Station by Dr Faustus:

Stops to let passengers laeve the train only

Mangling Meaning, # 24

I’m not sure where Bob Godiva found this (and he was slightly cagey when I enquired), but it’s a princely example of obfuscation:

school free drug zone

The Wrong Word Entirely, # 37

This notice, found on display in a care home, has several examples of acyrologia:

The misuse of bought for brought featured in The Wrong Word Entirely, # 1. It’s accompanied here by a confusion of insure for ensure and attain for obtain, and some odd phrasing and punctuation overall. Perhaps it’s intended as a test of the inmates’ mental faculties…

bought for brought; insure for ensure; attain for obtain

Spellchecking Is Never Enough, # 37

After a couple of days off, one of the best/worst mangles we've had, supplied by . For reasons that will become obvious, I've made it as anonymous as I can without losing the point of it.

As some readers are aware, there have been occasional discussions on Facebook about whether any of this ― spelling correctly, checking for errors, using the right word ― matters at all, or even whether it should matter. As I've said before, and will doubtless say again, one thing that particularly incenses me is when someone's failure to think, check and/or proofread results in a piece of text that is unintentionally and inappropriately humorous. This provokes amusement in the reader, who has been manoeuvred into involuntarily laughing at others' woe.

It's heinous when the text has been published by someone who is paid for producing it, whether this be a professional writer responsible for creating the content, or an inputter or typist, whose job is to transmit others' words.

So, anyone who thinks it doesn't matter, read this:

Imagine the feelings of the people who paid for the privilege of having this in memoriam notice unforgivably mangled by a newspaper-office employee who couldn't be bothered to check it properly.