Multimangle, # 41

From the backlog of Dr Faustus, who described it as ‘a dubious charity pitch letter’:

one of our fundraiser; work for the orphans, people living under the poverty; increasing the number of pupil; a grand success; also works along with helping people with Alzheimer’s and supporting those that care for Alzheimer’s disease; teaming up with us by cooperating to reach our goals

Apostrophe catastrophe, # 96

The charity formerly known as Citizens’ Advice Bureau has apparently been rebranded and eschews possessive apostrophes in its name, which rather implies uncertainly about the number of citizens it is willing to aid:

Link: Citizens Advice

Elsewhere (Rugby, in this case), nonsensical pre-rebrand signage sidesteps the apostrophe problem entirely:

Citizen Advice Bureau

Not Washed or Cooked, # 202

This mangle was found (location not supplied) by John Holloway, who comments: ‘An internet clip. I fully support the intent, of course…’

cancer awarness

Not Washed or Cooked, # 57

I hate to criticize people raising money for charity* ―

― but if you type the first placename shown into Google, it not only autocorrects the misspelling, but even assumes you might be interested in the names of both places and shows the right form of each, so there’s no excuse:

Link: Google search ‘Johno’Grotes’

* The information was on one of Waitrose’s ‘Community Matters’ boxes, which accept tokens given to customers who spend a certain amount, and Mangling English’s token went in this one…

Problem punctuation, # 4

Gary Hazell contributes this, from a tee shirt sold by the Pilgrim Bandits, a charity founded by Special Forces veterans:

The quotation comes from James Elroy Flecker’s ‘The Golden Journey to Samarkand’:

THE MASTER OF THE CARAVAN:
But who are ye in rags and rotten shoes,
You dirty-bearded, blocking up the way?

THE PILGRIMS:
We are the Pilgrims, master; we shall go
Always a little further […] 

Quoted from the version on Ruth’s Jordan Jubilee: The Country and the People of Jordan

Clearly someone has tried hard to adapt this for comprehensible use without the need to identify the dramatis personae and thus has inserted (some) speech marks. However, something seems to have gone very wrong with this process, while changes to the punctuation (notably the removal of both the question mark and the comma preceding ‘master’) and capitalization cause some confusion. The alterations to ‘“You dirty-bearded, blocking up the way?”’ suggest the line is not fully understood.

It might have been better to quote the Pilgrims’ words alone (and remove the ‘master’), since these both make the Pilgrim Bandits’ point and make perfect sense without the Caravan Master’s question.