Double-take, # 200

Another mangled on-screen television programme guide entry (see here for an earlier one) for that cult classic series The Avengers. After the — erroneous — substitution of plural for singular in the first sentence, everything becomes very confused indeed:

peoples for people [+ general confusion]

Now Try It In English, # 6

Des Pond of Slough is particularly shocked at the source of this mangled text from a leaflet adverti-sing places of interest, though he doesn’t explain why he had believed the National Trust to be such a paragon of linguistic excellence! It is indeed a prodigious tangle of words, and also seems to be tacitly promising some form of séance:

hear bard himself will guiding you

Double-take, # 174

An excerpt from a much longer email received by Dr Faustus:

update your website in low fee; Greetings of the day!!; we serve more than innumerable companies ; unbelievably pocket friendly prices

Now Try It In English, # 5

Another from the inbox of Dr Faustus, and presumably based on the council’s template for calls to interview. Note that the ‘person to ask for’ was edited out, and is not an omission:

Test will be required to undertake on the day

Now Try It In English, # 4

While we’re on the subject of scam emails (see yesterday), try this one:

your cognizance is in great necessity

Now Try It In English, # 3

From the email (and backlog) of Dr Faustus:

your account has been disabled considered a problem […] please follow the stages of being able to return to your account […] Shopping worldwide hassle free […]. Please follow the steps To Update Your account limited now

Double-take, # 95

(Confusing) information for tourists:

Link: ChampsElysees-Paris,.com, Le Drugstore Publicis

Grocery… is what closes the drugstore

Now Try It In English, # 2

This was quoted in a Daily Telegraph report that was rather generously supplied with mangles:

Link: The Telegraph, 'we would crime it'

A trawl round the internet shows that, so far at least, this mangle seems not to be widespread, though it's not unique —

Link: Yahoo, 'Crime Referrance Number'

— and it may, of  course, be standard police jargon, as this clip from a PoliceUK.com forum suggests:

 Link: PoliceUK.com, 'crime it'

The slogan 'Stamp Out Crime' was once common. How about 'Stamp Out "Crime" As A Verb'?

Now Try It In English, # 1

This is rather eye-watering:

Link: The Telegraph, 'poor families are likely to be obese'

 

The speaker is Anna Soubry, Parliamentary Under Secretary of State at the Department of Health, who has previously worked in journalism and law.