Thursday 1 August 2013

Problem punctuation, # 4

Gary Hazell contributes this, from a tee shirt sold by the Pilgrim Bandits, a charity founded by Special Forces veterans:


The quotation comes from James Elroy Flecker’s ‘The Golden Journey to Samarkand’:
THE MASTER OF THE CARAVAN:
But who are ye in rags and rotten shoes,
You dirty-bearded, blocking up the way?

THE PILGRIMS:
We are the Pilgrims, master; we shall go
Always a little further […]
 

Clearly someone has tried hard to adapt this for comprehensible use without the need to identify the dramatis personae and thus has inserted (some) speech marks. However, something seems to have gone very wrong with this process, while changes to the punctuation (notably the removal of both the question mark and the comma preceding ‘master’) and capitalization cause some confusion. The alterations to ‘“You dirty-bearded, blocking up the way?”’ suggest the line is not fully understood.

It might have been better to quote the Pilgrims’ words alone (and remove the ‘master’), since these both make the Pilgrim Bandits’ point and make perfect sense without the Caravan Master’s question.

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